


A Gay's Awakening

by Hawke (Joyd)



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: 5+1 Things, Drunken Confessions, Foiled Confessions, Gift Fic, M/M, Not Beta Read, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28190691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyd/pseuds/Hawke
Summary: 5 times G'raha Tia tries to confess and fails. And 1 time he succeeded so well he thought he was dreaming.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24
Collections: Final Fantasy XIV Gift Exchange 2020





	A Gay's Awakening

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mementomoe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mementomoe/gifts).



> Happy holidays mementomoe! Sorry I'm a little late, I hope I made up for it with some catto feels!

1\. The first time G’raha Tia gets a crush on one of his fellow students at the Studium, he falls for the same trap many before him have fallen to and swears to any and all of his friends who will listen that it’s True Love. The girl is amazing, beautiful, and absolute genius when it comes to aether and its properties. Her studies have been centered around tools to measure aether currents, he tells them, and she’s already broken more ground than any of their seniors in generations! He could listen to her speak of her theories and ideas for hours, he swears, utterly fascinated with the things she comes up with and her determination to bring her ideas to fruition. He wants nothing more than to spend all his time with her, even though the only extended time they’ve spent together outside of class was for a project they worked on together earlier in the semester.

He’s full intent on confessing to her, has planned it all out in his head and pictured the scene down to the smallest detail. The day he intends to speak to her is also the first day he ever sees her with a friend, a lanky Elezen boy who he can only assume is around their own age -he still hasn’t gotten the hang of telling an Elezen’s age beyond “not a child” and “not an elder”. He takes one look at them together and pivots on his heel, tail tucked low and curling around his leg as he retreats quickly, ears pinned back and face aflame. He didn’t have to see their intertwined hands to tell they were _together_ , not with the soft way they spoke, heads leaned together and soft smiles on their lips. As embarrassed as he is, and while he’s glad he didn’t get the chance to humiliate himself in front of her, he’s also flustered by how _pretty_ a picture they made together, the love between them clear and the cozy warmth just a glance at them inspired in his chest. He’s only ever known her to be boisterous and larger than life, so seeing her so soft has left him breathless, or perhaps that’s how gorgeous they _both_ were, which has sent his mind into a minor free fall of realization.

When he learns of Moenbryda’s death destroying an Ascian many decades later, he weeps for her and Urianger both, for that pure, tragic love and all the things that could have been, if only Nabriales hadn’t shown up where he wasn’t wanted. That, he supposes, is a habit shared by every Ascian, Unsundered or not.

2\. G’raha’s second attempt at confessing, again to a classmate, but this time to someone he’s spent a significant amount of time with, gets nowhere. Not because he chickens out, or because it turns out the object of his affections is already in a relationship, or even because they turn him down. No, this time his confession is stalled by the _Seventh Umbral Calamity_. He likes to think no one could have predicted Dalamud being ripped from the sky, let alone cracking open like an egg and a primal of all things popping out to wreck everything he’s ever known.

His confession gets thrown on the backburner, and by the time he has a moment to think of his crush again, the man is nowhere to be found, having fled Eorzea like so many others. If he’s being honest, at least with himself, he’s not terribly disappointed; a near apocalyptic event sort of rearranges one’s views and priorities, and romance has dropped to the bottom of the list.

3\. The next time he confesses his feelings to someone, it’s mildly more successful and vastly less thought out. In fact, he hadn’t planned iti at all, and had barely even acknowledged his attraction to the man, but it turns out that was plenty to motivate his drunken self. Buscarron, thankfully, simply took it in stride and let G’raha’s drunk self down gently, having experienced plenty of similar declarations before, and started giving him water instead.

When G’raha woke up under a table the next morning, he remembered a solid none of it, at least until the friends he’d been drinking with regaled him with the tail of his failed confession. Mortified, he’d gone back when the tavern opened later in the day and apologized as sincerely as he could while refusing to look the hyur in the eye, face nearly as red as his hair and worrying his poor tail between his hands. That Buscarron had been able to hear his mumbled apologies at all was astounding all on its own, but he’d eased G’raha’s embarrassment and thanked him for even thinking to come by to apologize at all, unneeded as it was. Plenty of people declared their drunken love or came on to him while in their cups, after all, G’raha just happened to be the most “polite” about it in a long while.

When the miqo’te managed to shyly stutter out that that was probably because his attraction wasn't simply the result of the ale, and simply that the alcohol had loosened his tongue, well. Suffice to say, his second try at his third confession went a lot better than the first try, and he didn’t spend that night sleeping off the ale under a table.

4.The fourth time G'raha confesses his feelings to someone is by far the most normal attempt he's had to date. That is not to say it goes exceptionally well, mind you, but it goes normally by any average person's standards. He develops a crush on a colleague after many hours working together, eventually works up the nerve to make his feelings known, and confesses.

Except, it turns out, she only enjoys the company of other women, and thus turns him down rather bluntly. He doesn't hold it against her, of course, and she confesses being rather flattered, but in the end they agree it all could have gone much worse Afterwards, in fact, they develop a new game between the two of them, telling each other little details about a lovely woman they see nearby, & the other has to try to determine which lovely woman they're describing.

Mikoto actually ended up dating one of the women G'raha described to her, so he adds "excellent wingman" to his mental resume.

5\. The fifth and ultimately final time he attempts to confess his feelings is by far the time he regrets the most. He simply couldn't help falling head over heels for the adventurer who signed on to help them access the Crystal Tower, not seeing them so intent on helping Cid Garlond get passed the sentinel gates. And then how breathtaking it was just to watch them clear the way through the Labyrinth and Crystal Tower, watching them fight was an experience unlike anything he'd ever known!

It is with the mixed tastes of victory and anticipation on his tongue that he decides he simply must tell the Warrior of Light of his attraction, of his feelings. Even if nothing comes of it, even if his feelings aren't reciprocated, he simply isn't strong enough to go on containing all that he feels for them. And so it is with his words and feelings both trapped in his throat that he goes into the World of Darkness to save Unei, Doga, and Nero, unsure if any if them will make it out alive at all.

When he comes to fully understand the scope of his destiny, of the long sleep and untold missed years, he nearly falls to the ground and weeps. Weeps for the adventures he will never have, the friends he will never see again, and the feelings he will never confess; how can he, knowing that the other will likely be long dead before he ever awakens?

When the doors begin to close, he has to turn and begin walking away, for he simply cannot watch the curtain close on a future that could never be his. When he settles into his chosen spot and closes his eyes, he focuses on all the smiles, all the laughter, that he shared with the Warrior of Light in the few short days they had, and hopes at least his dreams will be full of love.

+1. The assimilation of his memories and soul from the vessel is not instantaneous, and neither is his awakening from the deep sleep he shared with the Crystal Tower. Memories jump into focus suddenly and fade out before he can grasp at them, like a slideshow of his 100 years as the Exarch, picking up from where his younger self fell asleep (not so) long ago. His eyebrows furrow, his nose scrunches, and he smacks his tongue against the roof of his mouth when he wakes to find it drier than the Empty. Then, he opens his eyes, and his heart stutters in his chest as his blurry eyes try to focus on a face he never thought he'd see again, and it is his younger self speaking when he mumbles out a raspy, confused greeting.

"Am I still dreaming, love? Surely waking has never been so sweet."

It's only seeing the Warrior freeze, wide-eyed and staring, that the Exarch's memories start to click into place and he realizes. He's mortified, face going white as steadily as the Warrior's goes red, and almost chokes out an apology -or perhaps a request for the tower to kill him there & then-, when the other laughs. Its not a mean laugh, far from it, and G'raha is left breathless all over again when they smile, take his face in their hands, and lay a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"I think you've slept plenty long enough, Raha. Welcome home."


End file.
